Thursday, March 4, 2010
Grampa and Gramma Lizard?
Heard a family psychologist explain that many parents have lizard reactions to raised voices and angry stimulus from another. He said that good parents rise above this tit-for-tat interaction. It sets a poor example for impressionable children.
Gramparents have the same self control issues and challenge to rise above the spats and anger. I'm not perfect and we have what Dallin Oaks once described as "Discussions" with his wife. He got a knowing laugh.
Here's what I try to do:
1. I ask a completely unrelated question. Gramma can be easily diverted to another less threatening topic.
2. I respond in a softer, more loving tone. One of my brothers displays his anger with a softer and softer tone.
3. I take a walk. The story is told that a man lived to a ripe old age. His great grandson asked him how he had lived to be 100 and the old gentleman just smiled. Finally he told his secret: "When we were first married my wife and I agreed that whenever we had a disagreement, one of us would take a walk." Then with a bit of a twinkle in his eye he added, "I owe my long life the many times I enjoyed brisk walks in the out of doors!
4. I quickly apologize. Gramma Rosie handles all of our Santa Business. I've found that even after November and December every year, it just doesn't pay to hold a grudge
5. Even when I'm not at fault, I often begin conversations with something like, "Dear I want to apologize up front. It's all my fault. (at least she hasn't started laughing when I begin a conversation that way).
Somebody told me a twist on the philisophical question about the tree that falls in the woods. He said, "If you do a stupid thing and no woman is there to call you on it, is it still a stupid thing?"
What do you think. Let me know your opinion below and any other techniques for getting along with each other JRH