How do you screen for lazy?

Parents and Gramparents should never interfere in the dating habits of their offspring. However what's a fella to do when he sees the precious son or daughter cruising for the shoals? What are the cues, the signs, the indicators that nudge you to issue a storm warning.

A family I know welcomed their daughter's date hoping for the best. In our community regular visitors and potential mates help out before meals, especially if their visits become more and more regular.

Peter loved their daughter and she doted on him. He hung out at their house more and more regularly. He'd crash on what they called their voodoo couch so often, they started calling him sleeping beauty and not the prince.

Their daughter worked late, so the parents were stuck with a prone and snoring fiance for a few hours almost every day. He never offered to help with the dinner he wolfed down almost every night with them. Once, her mother gave him a chance to do a small chore and he made some excuse, rolled over on the couch and went back to sleep. How do you screen for lazy?

They married for a few years and split up after he stayed home and she took on another job so they could meet their bills. True to form he slept most of the day and expected her to make dinner, do the laundry and take out the trash. The parents could have saved her years of grief, but she couldn't see it. Love is blind, I've heard. Marriage is a team building sport, eh?

We once enjoyed the visits of a good high school friend of our son. We invited them both to raid the refrigerator between turns of the wrench on their hot rod, working under our carport. Both Paul and our son Jeff took us at our word and we all enjoyed their munching and crunching when the hungries hit. Their visits came more and more often and we had to restock the fridge with big smiles on our faces.

I decided to give Paul a little kitchen chore (so he would feel welcome) Without any further reminder, he tackled the pots with a great attitude, stopping only to help us clean out our ice box again. We still treasure a set of knives in a butcher block holder. I always remember Paul with a chuckle, when ever I grab the cutlery though he hasn't been by to raid our cupboards for years.

Gramparents are in a good position to help young ones screen for lazy as they plan for their future. Was it an interesting comparison between Peter and Paul? Hope these stories help! As you share life's direction with your near and dear remember to start early, long before they are already too deep in love's soup. JRH